I'm having a moment of nostalgia. I wish I was a youth again, just for a day. I miss my friends in Vancouver and those "good ol' days" at BYG - Broadway Youth Group, for those that don't know. I miss the youth nights with the awesome youth worship band and the Spirit-filled preaching. I miss the whole atmosphere of youth group - the fun, the expectancy, the bittersweet feeling that Fridays were far too short. I miss doing stuff like photo scavenger hunt, and wacky games, and going to see the fireworks at English Bay during the summer. I miss going to Fall Breakaway and youth convention and Camp Yukon. I felt so fresh and naive - everything about God was such a wonder to me. Not that I do not experience wonder and awe at what God does now! But rather, I had no knowledge about God other than He was in my life, so everything I learned was new and amazing. And I miss the group of people. I miss the times when the Holy Spirit moved on my friends in our prayer huddles. I miss ministering to my friends and being used of God in such an unknowing way. I miss being alongside those other youth and watching them experience God and discover who they were.
I miss life in Vancouver a bit too, actually. I think I like summers there, though winters are dreary and too much time there is draining. But I really liked roller blading down False Creek and around English Bay. I liked meeting with people for coffee and walks and build-your-own stirfry. I liked going to Silver City and going shopping at Metrotown. I liked walking down the hot streets and dipping in for a cool frappucino. I don't miss sitting shivering at bus stops for 45 minutes! I liked going for sushi and stopping in at Chapters for an hour. Or the library!
But mostly I miss the people. I miss Broadway Church and BYG, though I know that it is not the same place as it was 10 years ago - obviously. I feel like BYG and my life at that time is a friend who passed away and whom I am remembering fondly. I feel like my life ended when I moved away from Vancouver and restarted as a completely different person when I started college in Abbotsford. Truly, I am a completely different person than who I was. And so are all of my friends from Vancouver, and all the people I used to go to BYG with. I wish I could reconcile the two - bring that atmosphere and feeling here along with the wisdom and experience and opportunity I have now. I wish that I could just rewind time to 10 years ago, just for a day...preferably on a Friday. lol.
Nostalgia, it always has such a sepia tone. You can never go back, only forward. And in going forward you can't look to recreate the experiences of the past, but you can look to enjoy the things to come.
ReplyDeleteEnjoy the things to come! Look for the joy in today, know that you are making a difference in people's lives. Know that you are doing what you've been called to do. But more than that know that God is growing you, so pray that God will grow you. Pray that he'll grow you to Go and bear fruit! John 15:16
I know what you mean Sharon. It's like looking back through a fog that covers up all of the anxieties or low spots we may have been feeling at the time, and we only remember the highs we experienced. I remember when going to youth was the most exciting part of my week, and it was because I experienced God there. We can still experience Him now, as adults, but we have more complex lives and I know I struggle to really relax and let Him love on me like I used to...
ReplyDeleteLet's make some fun memories this summer, K?