Land legs

I am incredibly grumpy. I don't really know why. Maybe because these past couple weeks have been emotionally exhausting. Finding out that my aunt had sudden, terminal cancer...sucked. Calling my mom every day or two to find out how my aunt was doing...and how the rest of my family was doing...it sucked. Flying down to the mainland to spend 5 days with my grieving family, and going to the internment and memorial, dealing with family stuff and heightened emotions and stresses...it all sucked. Knowing that I'm never going to see her again in this life, not until I get to go to heaven...that sucked. Big time.

I didn't actually get it - the grief, the loss, the realization that this is real, my aunt really did pass away...until I saw the pictures of her at the memorial. The beautiful smile, remembering her laugh, watching a video of her dancing...that was hard. Seeing my family grieve for not only a lovely sister but a great, true friend...that was hard.

There were some "blue sky" moments though. Having my friends and colleagues here rally around me and support me and pray for me and my family...getting to spend a week with my cousin and his family from Saskatchewan and having a great visit, even though the circumstances were not the best...seeing my family (and my dog)...seeing my extended family and having brief but cherished visits...hearing stories of my aunt's courage and faithfulness to Jesus right to the end...hearing from both of her daughters that my aunt loved me very much and had a special place in her heart for me and talked often about me. Blue sky.

Well I am not as grouchy as I was. I guess it's a little bit of a shift to get my mind wrapped around life in Port Hardy again. I'm still reeling a bit - getting my land legs again, I guess.